hi, this is sham.

A little under a year ago, I started my first full time job. Who would've thought that I would be a missions worker. It's been a long shot that only Grace would've bet on.

It was the first week of September. I was given the assignment to take the lead in a Discipleship Group for first year men at McGill University. With the goal to simply challenge them to invest their university time well, I had spent the entire week before that meeting up with 20 total strangers who had simply indicated that they would be interested in being involved with this Campus ministry.

It was a tiring albeit interesting week, including my mixing up the gender of multiple contacts I had, but that's a story for another time. The effort was all worth it, I thought, if it meant that many men would be developed into multiplying disciples. I was a young gun, an eager beaver, a loose canon, full of energy with this stage of life and work.

At last, it was time for the first Discipleship Group meeting. I couldn’t wait; I had spent time meeting people, challenging them, planning around multiple schedules and prepping a visionary bible study. This was ministry! 

Not one single person showed up.

I was devastated.

As a I met up with my director, a hundred and one thoughts ran through my head. Why didn’t anyone come? Were they busy or did they forget? Or maybe I did something wrong? I can’t believe the first year men’s Discipleship Group is falling through! Now the ministry is going to fall apart and it’s all because of me. 

My director laughed and said, 'No worries. Keep at it and we'lll try again next week'.

If my heart had a jaw, it dropped. Did I just seriously just hear you say that? I've undone five years of your ministry here in ONE day !

Then the disciples of Jesus woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

My director said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" God is not as interested in seeing you work harder, or lead better bible studies, as he is in wanting you to trust and love Him more.

What happened in that first week of work has been perhaps the greatest metaphor of why I love Jesus, in ministry, in my life. You see, it's so easy for me get carried away with myself, even with the humblest of tasks. There's just so much sin and self-idolatry I hold, in my effort, in my knowledge, in my hard works.. in my sanctimony.

But our God is a God who says to you, says to me, you have absolutely nothing to prove, my child. I love you as you are, and in me, you are more than you could ever imagine.

Teaching me this lesson happens beyond leading first year bible study. It demands surrender of my occupation, of my financial support, my family, my life. 

Because if Jesus is one who took the punishment on my behalf, if Jesus is the one who gave up his kingship to take my place, if Jesus is the one who offered grace to me so freely, if Jesus is the one who overcame death and uncertainty, if Jesus is the one who did what I can never do, then Jesus is Lord of my bible study. Then Jesus is Lord of my finance and occupation. Then Jesus is Lord of my relationships. Then Jesus is Lord of my life.

The House Of God Forever by Jon Foreman

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11 The House Of God Forever.mp3 (6.5 MB)

Even though I love to write, I'm often left itching because I don't feel words fully capture the entirety, the fullness, the sincerity, the humor, the truth, the bias and the beauty that are the thoughts that runs through my mind. Maybe that's why I so often post up music. The expression of life in music. But behind music, I appreciate more how it leads to me to meditate and worship, in a day and age where mainstream music, even Christian music, is the consumer's Entertainer and culture's Master. But when I listen to the likes of Jon Foreman, I am brought to quiet and joyful and yet even more humble moments. And even to whispers of smiles.

I think Jon's EPs are some of the most gentle yet powerful tools that have given me good worship. His albums are named after the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. I'm reminded of Vivaldi's own composition of Four Seasons, where in each piece, Vivaldi tries to capture the mood and beauty that each season brings. Ecclesiastes speaks of the same - a time for each season, we are taught and reminded. Over the past years, I see the contents of my own writing change - good change, bad change, seasons of highs and joy and seasons of low and disparity, and my hope is that with each change, God will teach me to love Him more.

Even as I write about my thoughts on the seasons God leads us through, I want to also say that we need to approach each season with both a narrow and broad vision: Too often, we rush through our life trying to find the next step - to find the answer before fully considering the question, that we miss what God has led us to that season for. God does not lead us through seasons because it is part of a predestined journey. He does not lead us through seasons so that we can find the answer. We don't experience times of sorrow and of joy so that we can say 'Been there, done that'. He leads us through different seasons of life, so that in that season, we will learn to love Him in a greater way and that that love would glorify Him. And so by considering each season with a narrow vision, we put our hearts in the postures of grief, of sorrow, of humility, of rejoice and glorify God in that season.

But in the same breath, we must also hold a broad vision; a broad vision that even as we consider a question, we know that the answer has been given. That Christ has rectified all the sorrow and grief and brought us salvation and victory. And that He is the answer. In the same way, that is the Gospel. Grace that assures us salvation is no more important than the law that reminds us that we are sinners, desperate, vile and disgusting enemy of God. He is the one that brings life to the Valley of Dry Bones,

While re-watching Prison Break (great show for 2 seasons only), I picked up this quote. "Living by hope is for those who don't already live in grace". But my friends, I pray that God would teach us to meditate and walk through each season in grace and know that hope in Christ's victory is ours even more so.

Not in those exact words.

Well, not at all.. in fact, I'd probably have a steep learning curve in front of me.

But it does seem I'm on my way:

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1156_6_reasons_pastors_should_blog/

Pay heed to the first line in point number two.

We be (road) trippin' ! HAHA I'm hillarious !!

To be quite brief, today featured Quebec City (Old Quebec is hands down more beautiful than Old Port) and Ste. Anne. Apart from sights, Ste Anne was clearly a more interesting place to be. It's a checkpoint in a lot of Catholics' pilgrimages and a place for a lot of healing. Apparently, the selling concept is that any prayer you pray in the basilica will be answered to the full (maybe a better selling concept would be simply being Spirit filled and praying the will of the Father). But for show or not, there's a whole display of crutches and walking aides that has accumulated over the years from the lame being able to walk again.

We're heading north east tomorrow for more of Quebec before turning south east for the other provinces. Praise God for no capsizing today and.. we bought a new digital camera to replace the 5 that passed on yesterday.. Once again, the iPhone saves the day ! Featured photos from today are all courtesy of Apple (I'm also just finding out that I can attach multiple files in one go, so I can press Browse just once, instead of attaching each photo separately. I love (idolatry love) my MacBook Pro ! And praise God also for restoration and grace in our lives and relationships too.

To end with my earlier comment on man leaving his parents to be one with a new wife, how amazing is this? (L, you might just love this too) I have finally found a proposal that is in the same playing field as the one I will have !

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ECCT_Day_2.zip (9.92 MB)